Monday, October 10, 2005

My absence will remind you of how tough it is to be in love

Aaron was my first love. We met when I was 20 and immediately had a powerful connection. Often times he was quiet and intense. He never uttered a sentence that wasn't completely thought out. He loved golf, the jacksonville jaguars, flying and recently began to fly solo and he was an amazing cook. He was the kind of guy you couldn't peg.

His friends were the most important thing to him. He would do anything for a friend at anytime. He once brought my younger sister medicine and soup when she was too poor to afford any. I didn't even know he had done it til I got home from work. At the time they weren't even close but he knew it was the right thing to do.

He taught me to play poker, to drink good scotch, how to laugh at myself, to be a great friend and got me hooked on steely dan. He always had a simpson's reference for any situation- I loved that. When I was offered the opportunity to teach children with disabilities it was Aaron who gave me the most encouragement. In our last conversation a few weeks ago he told me he was proud of the way I was changing the world & his part in that. I will hold those words in my heart forever.

Aaron had a very difficult childhood & adolescence. Even at our happiest moments he was in a great deal of pain. All the love in the world couldn't solve that. I feel so lucky for our 3 years together. His love and friendship helped me through times both good & bad. We still remained close after all these years. Every time I saw his phone number or heard his voice it brought a smile to my face. He and Isaac became friends as well and before our wedding he told me with all earnestness that he couldn't be happier for me.

There is an emptiness in my heart that I know over time will fade but I will never forget the love and friendship we shared. I know his pain is gone now and he is in a better place and for that I feel at peace with his decision. I will miss him immeasurably.

I'm not sure if my original comment will appear cos my connection failed while it was posting - I'm sorry if it does, as I'm just repeating what I said in it here. It is good to see you back and ready to open up. It sounds like he was a wonderful person, but I agree with you that it is better that he is not in pain anymore. We'll all be here for you petal. Big hugs to you.
Oh, Leah - I'm so sorry. I'm glad that you remember him with such warmth, and that you'll be able to carry that with you.
I'm so sorry about Aaron. I hope you were able to say goodbye. Hang in there, lady.
Thanks so much guys!! It's nice to know that so many people care.

I did get to say goodbye. His service was perfect. Mostly his friends speaking. The place was well over capacity. He touched so many people.

I spent most of the last few days with Aaron's best friends who have always been some of my best friends too. I was working on 2-3 hours of sleep per night & very little food but it was worth it.

Being with them was hard but it was also very healing! Those boys are awesome & I am very lucky to have them to go through this with!! Some of my best times with Aaron were with them too!

His spirit lives on in so many.
Leah, I'm so sorry about Aaron. It sounds like he will live on through so many people that loved him.

Stay strong & always focus on the wonderful experiences you shared.
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